Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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