and you said cock pushups were impossible
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
