Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
