Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
