thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
