so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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