maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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