i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
