There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
