We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
