drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize