His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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