he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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