you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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