Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
