I think my fart just growled at me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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