It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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