oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we're so committed to being not committed
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
