Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
