Will you blow on my dice?
That's intense
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
high people should be assigned attendants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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