I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
