dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize