It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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