think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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