She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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