Someone shit on the floor
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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