I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize