So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
