try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize