I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize