is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
