i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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