does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
