we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
