We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
