nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
