Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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