Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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