I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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