omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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