Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
