I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize