Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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