You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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