the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
