it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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