she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
