so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
