On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
