Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
