Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
