Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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