I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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