I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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