I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Someone came in the potted fern
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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