oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize