He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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