I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
A+ Viking dick
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
