Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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