Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
