I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
