and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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