Sry I called you an 8
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Randomize
