your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
