Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
