3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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