Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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